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Achievements completed: 9 (32.14%)

Achievements: (9 / 28):
# Global Completion % Description API Name
1 16.40% Self Defence: Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests. SliceWithWeddingKnife
2 11.50% A Better John: (Note: this is a hidden achievement that has not been released to the public yet) Apologize
3 10.80% Swan Tamer: Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill. FeedTheSwans
4 9.60% Till Death Do Us: Have sex in the Date Night graveyard. DateNight_HaveCoffinSex
5 6.30% Clumsy: Die a lot of times in your nightmares. DieManyTimesInDream
6 5.00% Most Improved Tapulator: Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu. UseMenuAfterHints
7 4.90% Spare Wheel: Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus. Ourobourus_ExcludedFromCircle
8 4.50% Summer Job: (Note: this is a hidden achievement that has not been released to the public yet) CactusPickingFlashback
9 4.10% The Perfect Partner: Marry yourself in Abstinence. Abstinence_GetBothRings
10 3.90% Magnetic Basshole: Win Lights Out in under five seconds. LightsOut_FastPenetration
11 3.50% Popcorn Buffet: Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn. EatALotOfPopcorn
12 3.10% Meet Your Maker: (Note: this is a hidden achievement that has not been released to the public yet) MeetGod
13 2.30% Paperwork: Submit your monthly physical report. FilePhotocopy
14 1.80% Early Bird: Swallow every worm. FindAllWorms
15 1.70% Sleep No More: Don't let sleeping dongs lie. FindAllSleepingPeens
16 1.60% Bulking Gear: Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains. UseAllGymDrugs
17 1.30% Appalling Appetite: (Note: this is a hidden achievement that has not been released to the public yet) EatEvenMorePopcorn
18 1.30% Couch Party: Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game. FinishEightPlayerGame
19 1.20% Fussy Lover: Save yourself for that special orgy. Traditional_NoSex